I'm getting married in the fall. To be honest, I sometimes thought that I would never meet the woman of my dreams and get married. My faith is very important to me, and equally important is the classical Anglican expression of the catholic faith. And obviously, emotional and physical attraction are also very important when looking for love.
Well, traditional Anglican parishes - at least the ones I have attended - for the most part are not exactly crawling with gorgeous and intelligent young women, so it is hard to meet women at them. Once in a while there was a visitor, or someone who came at Christmas and Easter, but I wanted to meet someone who was in love with the Lord Jesus Christ, not just a "nominal" Christian. So eventually I just sort of "gave up" looking and resigned myself to living by my principles and accepting what God apparently had for me. Accepting God's will for my life was actually very freeing. I was able to get a lot of great work done, and grow much more comfortable with myself.
But lo an behold, I happened to go to a Christmas party last year, and there I met my future wife. We hit it off, started e-mailing, and then started dating. She began coming to mass with me, and has not missed a Sunday since. She comes from a somewhat liberal Mennonite background - liberal enough to dress normally and date outside the Amish/Mennonite fold, but still conservative enough to be against abortion, and pro-traditional marriage, and such. Now she has adopted Anglicanism wholeheartedly. She crosses herself, bows at the cross, genuflects, prays the rosary and talks about Mary a lot, goes to Stations and Benediction, and even says Evening Prayer with me once in a while.... it is wonderful! She'll be confirmed, Lord willing, this fall or spring. She fits right in at church, and likes the small, close-knit atmosphere of our parish and our diocese. She is real Anglican trooper - a top notch gal, and the love of my life! We're getting married this fall with the 1928 BCP and American Missal. The mass setting will be the "Mass for Three Voices" by William Byrd.
I thank the Lord that I have found someone out there to share this part of my life - the very core of my life - with. I have to admit, I had my doubts at times. The traditional Anglican world is not for everyone... it is too beautiful, too mysterious, too contemplative. But the Lord blessed me, and did not leave me hanging. He sent me someone who also found that world beautiful. The night we met, I told her, and all of the other women I met at the party, all about me, and about my Anglicanism, thinking that if she or they were not interested in me that would be fine, and that I wouldn't want to meet someone who didn't care about the Lord anyway. And I was right about 99% of them. But she was the one who e-mailed me, so I took notice. Then on our first date, after eating and hanging our for a while, I just started talking to her about the Blessed Mother, and how devotion to her has been spiritually refreshing and helpful to me. She did not run, but rather was so affirmative, and into what I was saying. Now we talk about how Mary played a role in our romance. And now we are getting married at St. Mary's Church!
Anyway, sorry to get all sentimental. I just wanted to offer up praise and thanksgiving to God, and also give hope to those who think one could never find his or her true love while attending a small, continuing Anglican parish with a (formerly) crappy organ. There is always hope with God.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
Get a Spiritual Director
I recommend that all Anglicans interested in growing in deeper knowledge and love of God, and in holiness, seek out a spiritual director. A spiritual director may or may not be the same person as your confessor, but often they are the same. The spiritual director acts as sort of a 'coach' in the Christian life. He is someone who can help you develop and maintain a Rule of Life (Thornton), and he is someone to bounce ideas, hopes, and frustrations off of. It is not meant to be counseling in the psychological or emotional sense, though there may be some overlap once in a while.
My spiritual director also serves as my confessor. He is an SSC priest who resides here in my fair city. We get together once a month for confession and direction. He has been very helpful to me, and has helped me view my spiritual life more holistically. For instance, he talked about regular exercise as being part of a balanced Rule of Life... something I had never thought of. A few years ago, I went to a legendary, really old Sulpician priest (Fr. Vincent DePaul McMurry) for spiritual direction. He was not my confessor - only my director. He was great too. He would talk about how beautiful the catholic faith is, and we would reflect on that in all sorts of interesting ways.
I have found that you have to really look around for a good spiritual director. It is like finding the perfect "hang out". You have to ask others, and pray that God would send you to the right person. It can be hard at times. And sometimes you strike out a lot before finding the right one. Even Roman Catholics have trouble finding good spiritual directors sometimes. Once you find a good spiritual director, though, go to him regularly with an open mind and heart - even if you consider yourself to be fairly "advanced" spiritually. There is always something new to learn, and greater levels of holiness to attain.
My spiritual director also serves as my confessor. He is an SSC priest who resides here in my fair city. We get together once a month for confession and direction. He has been very helpful to me, and has helped me view my spiritual life more holistically. For instance, he talked about regular exercise as being part of a balanced Rule of Life... something I had never thought of. A few years ago, I went to a legendary, really old Sulpician priest (Fr. Vincent DePaul McMurry) for spiritual direction. He was not my confessor - only my director. He was great too. He would talk about how beautiful the catholic faith is, and we would reflect on that in all sorts of interesting ways.
I have found that you have to really look around for a good spiritual director. It is like finding the perfect "hang out". You have to ask others, and pray that God would send you to the right person. It can be hard at times. And sometimes you strike out a lot before finding the right one. Even Roman Catholics have trouble finding good spiritual directors sometimes. Once you find a good spiritual director, though, go to him regularly with an open mind and heart - even if you consider yourself to be fairly "advanced" spiritually. There is always something new to learn, and greater levels of holiness to attain.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Wedding Madness
This is not a post about my own wedding, which is coming up (but I am sure I will have something up about it sooner or later), but rather about a wedding at the ECUSA 'Cathedral of the Incarnation' (or "The Cathedral of the Reincarnation" as we call here in my town) that I attended the other day. It was bizarre, and made me very happy to be a continuing Anglican.
The lady who did the wedding didn't even follow the '79 BCP Order for Marriage. They used some other crazy text. The couple did their own vows, which were rather sentimental and shallow I thought. There were no hymns or anything... so even though the ceremony was done in the context of the Eucharist, it really did not feel like a community experience. They really cut back on the responses, I suppose because they thought most people wouldn't know them, so maybe that was why we all felt like we were watching a piece of weird performance art. There were no chasubles, no procession of clergy, no altar rail, no nothing. The acolyte, after the Holy Communion, then reserved the reaminder of the Precious Blood in an aumbry!
The whole thing was just very watered down. Of course they admitted everyone to the Holy Eucharist, and there was, as to be expected with Rite II, very little talk of sin and redemption. My fiancee, who is not a theologian by any stretch of the imagination, thought the whole experience was not very worshipful or holy.
At the reception, some "priestess" got up and prayed for the food. She began to quote Scripture in her prayer, but came up with her own, weird translation of the passage in question. She said, "Oh God, you said it was not good for people to be alone, so let us make for them partners to be with...." or something like that. She was quoting (I use that term loosely) from Tobit.
So the whole thing was very strange indeed. The organ music was nice, though. Hard to mess up the "Wedding March".
The lady who did the wedding didn't even follow the '79 BCP Order for Marriage. They used some other crazy text. The couple did their own vows, which were rather sentimental and shallow I thought. There were no hymns or anything... so even though the ceremony was done in the context of the Eucharist, it really did not feel like a community experience. They really cut back on the responses, I suppose because they thought most people wouldn't know them, so maybe that was why we all felt like we were watching a piece of weird performance art. There were no chasubles, no procession of clergy, no altar rail, no nothing. The acolyte, after the Holy Communion, then reserved the reaminder of the Precious Blood in an aumbry!
The whole thing was just very watered down. Of course they admitted everyone to the Holy Eucharist, and there was, as to be expected with Rite II, very little talk of sin and redemption. My fiancee, who is not a theologian by any stretch of the imagination, thought the whole experience was not very worshipful or holy.
At the reception, some "priestess" got up and prayed for the food. She began to quote Scripture in her prayer, but came up with her own, weird translation of the passage in question. She said, "Oh God, you said it was not good for people to be alone, so let us make for them partners to be with...." or something like that. She was quoting (I use that term loosely) from Tobit.
So the whole thing was very strange indeed. The organ music was nice, though. Hard to mess up the "Wedding March".
Thursday, July 07, 2005
New Organ!
Praise the Lord! Today our parish is getting a nice new Rogers electronic organ delivered! It will replace our 1949 creep show organ. The Lord enabled us to raise all of the money for the organ in about 5 months... that is 5 months ahead of schedule! Our old organ sounded so BAD. I am convinced that it has driven many potential new members away. Now we just need to get a new organist.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
My Emerging Church Experience
This past Sunday I was out of town visiting an old college friend. We visited her current church home, which is an "emerging church" in a large city in Tennessee. I thought I would comment on some of the things I noticed about the service. Warning: this is a long post. (mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa)
First, there was no church building. Rather, they met in a large warehouse (owned by a contemporary christian musician). In fact, it looked like this goth/punk club I used to go to in Baltimore called the "Ottobar". The lighting was poor, despite a huge lighting rig that covered the ceiling. They use the room for christian rock concerts on other days, hence the rig, but apparently they do not use the rig for morning worship. There were no pews, only plastic folding chairs. As you came in, you grabbed a chair and sat down - usually with your coffee.... that's right, they serve coffee and bottled water that you are allowed to bring into the main space. There was no art on the walls, and up front, on the platform where the speaker stood, was one of those computer projectors with a million wires coming out from it. They used it to project the music lyrics up on a screen. There was no information bulletin... just a bi-fold piece of paper with a space for sermon notes on one side, and a couple of announcements on the other side. The crowd (about 200 people?) was mostly 20-30 somethings. The oldest people I saw looked to be in their sixties (they were just one couple, mind you). Out of all the people there, I'd say that 10 were 45 or older. Everyone was white.
As for the "liturgy", there was a confession of sin; a "declaration of absolution" (read by young woman in a short miniskirt); and several rock songs led by the house band - one of which was "Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of Creation". Then there was a long, rambling sermon lead by the youth pastor, followed by some announcements (that he kept messing up), and then some more rock songs. There was one, maybe two, brief prayers during the service.
There was no sacrament, no offering, no substantial prayer or prayer time, no responses, no kneeling, very little talk of sin and redemption, and no blessing (though the service ended with a wave and a hearty, "Ya'll have a great day... see ya next week.". The guy who was preaching spent so much time talking about a U2 concert he attended in Ireland that it was hard to focus on the spiritual truthes he was trying to draw out from that experience. On top of that, the people were nnot very friendly. I wouldn't say they were unfriendly, but they certainly did not come up and say hello, or even look at you, much less smile at you. My fiancee said that she thought the place was downright cold.
This experience confirmed my earlier suspicians that there is something seriously wrong with the "emerging church" model. One struggles to even call an experience like this "worship", for virtually nothing was being offered to God. It was wholly and entirely man-centered. The only thing that was being offered to God that I could see - the rock music and singing - was hardly the best that could be offered. And further, the people really didn't seem to take part in the singing at all. About half of them chatted and drank their coffee during the singing, despite the fact that they were very easy songs to sing (I picked up the tunes immediately, though I had only heard the hymn before).
True worship involves offering something to God which is pure and spotless. This is not our own "sincere hearts", or "warm fuzzy feelings", but something else - the Holy Eucharist. True worship is offering to God the spotless, most Holy Pascal Lamb - Jesus Christ. This highest and one true act of worship sanctifies our other acts of worship (singing, prayer, offering, etc.).
There was no chance to worship God with giving of tithes and offerings, despite the fact that that God commands us to give to His work. In an age when people are so irresponsible with their money, and so blatantly materialistic, to deny them the opportunity to give to the work of the Church during its corporate worship is an outrage and a slap in the face to God - who owns everything in the world. (BCP p. 9; and Psalm 24: BCP p. 368)
The worship was gnostic. That is to say, it was entirely cerebral. It was not incarnational and sacramental. The "message" - an imparting of "secret knowledge" of sorts - was the focus of the meeting. Besides there being no art, and no sacrament, and no august movements and/or ritual, the whole experience was just plain ugly. Thus, as an artist, I found the worship highly irrelevant to my life (to use one of that movement's favorite buzzwords).
One of the most troubling aspects was the fact that everyone was young. What about older folks? Is a place like this truly "for all people" when old people are nowhere to be seen? The absensce of the aged, and extremely aged seems to detract from the dogma that the Church is catholic - i.e. for all people in all times and places. (BCP p.291)
So why do people go to churches like this? I think they go to them because there is no commitment involved. There is no work to do on Sunday. You just passively sit there and sip on your coffee like you are watching TV. This type of service appeals to our basest desires. It is "worship of God" (I use that phrase lightly) on our terms as opposed to God's terms. In that sense, it is very similar to liberal Christianity. No doctrine, and God on my terms... Jesus "reconstituted" to fit my interests interests". I think people go because they can slip in and blend in with everyone else - who look, talk, and act just like me - and then they can just leave. It is "no pressure" religion.
Well, it may qualify as 'religion' in some broad sense of the word (even though there is no ritual), but it certainly does not qualify as authentic Christianity. A Christian is a follower of Christ, and followers of Christ suffer as their Lord does (indeed we participate in His suffering through the sacramental life). Followers of Christ worship God in spirit and truth, and accept inconveniences in order to be made more christlike. Most important, Christians offer to God true worship - the Sacrifice of the Mass. God in His grace raises us up to His level, and makes us holy - He makes us divine (theosis). We should not seek to drag God down to our level for the sake of convenience and the latest trends.
First, there was no church building. Rather, they met in a large warehouse (owned by a contemporary christian musician). In fact, it looked like this goth/punk club I used to go to in Baltimore called the "Ottobar". The lighting was poor, despite a huge lighting rig that covered the ceiling. They use the room for christian rock concerts on other days, hence the rig, but apparently they do not use the rig for morning worship. There were no pews, only plastic folding chairs. As you came in, you grabbed a chair and sat down - usually with your coffee.... that's right, they serve coffee and bottled water that you are allowed to bring into the main space. There was no art on the walls, and up front, on the platform where the speaker stood, was one of those computer projectors with a million wires coming out from it. They used it to project the music lyrics up on a screen. There was no information bulletin... just a bi-fold piece of paper with a space for sermon notes on one side, and a couple of announcements on the other side. The crowd (about 200 people?) was mostly 20-30 somethings. The oldest people I saw looked to be in their sixties (they were just one couple, mind you). Out of all the people there, I'd say that 10 were 45 or older. Everyone was white.
As for the "liturgy", there was a confession of sin; a "declaration of absolution" (read by young woman in a short miniskirt); and several rock songs led by the house band - one of which was "Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of Creation". Then there was a long, rambling sermon lead by the youth pastor, followed by some announcements (that he kept messing up), and then some more rock songs. There was one, maybe two, brief prayers during the service.
There was no sacrament, no offering, no substantial prayer or prayer time, no responses, no kneeling, very little talk of sin and redemption, and no blessing (though the service ended with a wave and a hearty, "Ya'll have a great day... see ya next week.". The guy who was preaching spent so much time talking about a U2 concert he attended in Ireland that it was hard to focus on the spiritual truthes he was trying to draw out from that experience. On top of that, the people were nnot very friendly. I wouldn't say they were unfriendly, but they certainly did not come up and say hello, or even look at you, much less smile at you. My fiancee said that she thought the place was downright cold.
This experience confirmed my earlier suspicians that there is something seriously wrong with the "emerging church" model. One struggles to even call an experience like this "worship", for virtually nothing was being offered to God. It was wholly and entirely man-centered. The only thing that was being offered to God that I could see - the rock music and singing - was hardly the best that could be offered. And further, the people really didn't seem to take part in the singing at all. About half of them chatted and drank their coffee during the singing, despite the fact that they were very easy songs to sing (I picked up the tunes immediately, though I had only heard the hymn before).
True worship involves offering something to God which is pure and spotless. This is not our own "sincere hearts", or "warm fuzzy feelings", but something else - the Holy Eucharist. True worship is offering to God the spotless, most Holy Pascal Lamb - Jesus Christ. This highest and one true act of worship sanctifies our other acts of worship (singing, prayer, offering, etc.).
There was no chance to worship God with giving of tithes and offerings, despite the fact that that God commands us to give to His work. In an age when people are so irresponsible with their money, and so blatantly materialistic, to deny them the opportunity to give to the work of the Church during its corporate worship is an outrage and a slap in the face to God - who owns everything in the world. (BCP p. 9; and Psalm 24: BCP p. 368)
The worship was gnostic. That is to say, it was entirely cerebral. It was not incarnational and sacramental. The "message" - an imparting of "secret knowledge" of sorts - was the focus of the meeting. Besides there being no art, and no sacrament, and no august movements and/or ritual, the whole experience was just plain ugly. Thus, as an artist, I found the worship highly irrelevant to my life (to use one of that movement's favorite buzzwords).
One of the most troubling aspects was the fact that everyone was young. What about older folks? Is a place like this truly "for all people" when old people are nowhere to be seen? The absensce of the aged, and extremely aged seems to detract from the dogma that the Church is catholic - i.e. for all people in all times and places. (BCP p.291)
So why do people go to churches like this? I think they go to them because there is no commitment involved. There is no work to do on Sunday. You just passively sit there and sip on your coffee like you are watching TV. This type of service appeals to our basest desires. It is "worship of God" (I use that phrase lightly) on our terms as opposed to God's terms. In that sense, it is very similar to liberal Christianity. No doctrine, and God on my terms... Jesus "reconstituted" to fit my interests interests". I think people go because they can slip in and blend in with everyone else - who look, talk, and act just like me - and then they can just leave. It is "no pressure" religion.
Well, it may qualify as 'religion' in some broad sense of the word (even though there is no ritual), but it certainly does not qualify as authentic Christianity. A Christian is a follower of Christ, and followers of Christ suffer as their Lord does (indeed we participate in His suffering through the sacramental life). Followers of Christ worship God in spirit and truth, and accept inconveniences in order to be made more christlike. Most important, Christians offer to God true worship - the Sacrifice of the Mass. God in His grace raises us up to His level, and makes us holy - He makes us divine (theosis). We should not seek to drag God down to our level for the sake of convenience and the latest trends.
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